{"id":385,"date":"2018-11-29T08:57:04","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T06:57:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gocreations.info\/kalliopianthi\/?p=385"},"modified":"2019-07-20T21:22:35","modified_gmt":"2019-07-20T19:22:35","slug":"kalli-radi-4-recka-tchyne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kalliopi-anthi.gr\/cs\/kalli-radi-4-recka-tchyne\/","title":{"rendered":"Kalli rad\u00ed (4) \u0158eck\u00e1 tch\u00fdn\u011b"},"content":{"rendered":"
Mil\u00e1 Kalli,<\/em><\/div>\n
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Bydl\u00edme ve stejn\u00e9m dom\u011b s tch\u00fdn\u00ed. Ta, kdy\u017e ovdov\u011bla, p\u0159enechala n\u00e1m horn\u00ed patro s velk\u00fdm bytem a sama se odst\u011bhovala do mal\u00e9ho p\u0159\u00edzemn\u00edho bytu. M\u00e1 ale pocit, \u017ee ten byt je po\u0159\u00e1d jej\u00ed a bez pozv\u00e1n\u00ed k n\u00e1m chod\u00ed, kdykoliv se j\u00ed zachce. Je\u0161t\u011b k tomu nen\u00ed zvykl\u00e1 se zouvat, tak\u017ee n\u00e1m p\u0159ijde klidn\u011b se zabl\u00e1cen\u00fdma botama a projde se po koberci v ob\u00fdv\u00e1ku. Taky kou\u0159\u00ed, (stejn\u011b jako m\u016fj man\u017eel, kter\u00e9ho u\u017e jsem ale nau\u010dila kou\u0159it venku), tak\u017ee si vezme z vitr\u00edny popeln\u00edk a za\u010dne \u010dadit a je j\u00ed \u00fapln\u011b jedno, \u017ee moje ro\u010dn\u00ed dcera leze po zabl\u00e1cen\u00edm koberci v b\u00edl\u00fdch dupa\u010dk\u00e1ch a \u010dich\u00e1 cigaretov\u00fd kou\u0159.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Sem tam mi p\u0159ejde po byt\u011b, prstem zkontroluje, jestli m\u00e1m ut\u0159en\u00fd prach a nadzvedne pokli\u010dky na plotn\u011b, aby zjistila, co va\u0159\u00edm. A kdy\u017e d\u011bl\u00e1m n\u011bco \u010desk\u00e9ho a j\u00ed se to nepozd\u00e1v\u00e1, p\u0159inese m\u00e9mu mu\u017ei j\u00eddlo v kastr\u016flku zezdola. Ale jen jednu porci!!!! A man\u017eel to jako ber\u00e1nek poslu\u0161n\u011b sn\u00ed.<\/em><\/div>\n
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M\u011b tohle d\u011bsn\u011b \u0161tve. Nem\u00e1m si ani komu post\u011b\u017eovat, proto\u017ee bydl\u00edme na vesnici a hned by se to rozk\u0159iklo.<\/em><\/div>\n
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S man\u017eelem jsem se na tohle t\u00e9ma u\u017e stokr\u00e1t poh\u00e1dala, ale on \u0159\u00edk\u00e1, \u017ee j\u00ed nem\u016f\u017ee nic \u0159\u00edct, proto\u017ee je to jeho m\u00e1ma a je\u0161t\u011b k tomu n\u00e1m dala ten byt a hodn\u011b n\u00e1m pom\u00e1h\u00e1 i finan\u010dn\u011b, tak\u017ee jsme na n\u00ed z\u00e1visl\u00ed.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Nev\u00edm, co m\u00e1m d\u011blat, dost n\u00e1m to naru\u0161uje n\u00e1\u0161 vztah, i kdy\u017e se m\u00e1me s man\u017eelem opravdu r\u00e1di a vzali jsme se po p\u011bti letech chozen\u00ed z l\u00e1sky.<\/em><\/div>\n
D\u011bkuju za rady, B.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Mil\u00e1 B.,<\/p>\n

to ti teda p\u011bkn\u011b d\u011bkuji za dotaz!!! \ud83d\ude09 Opravdu nev\u00edm, zda to nebude konec na\u0161\u00ed tak zd\u00e1rn\u011b zapo\u010dat\u00e9 internetov\u00e9 poradny<\/em>, nebo\u0165 se ob\u00e1v\u00e1m, \u017ee m\u011b \u010ditatelky p\u0159estanou m\u00edt r\u00e1dy\u2026 \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Hej, tam na druh\u00e9 stran\u011b internetu, ud\u011blejme dohodu: J\u00e1 v\u00e1m nap\u00ed\u0161u, co si mysl\u00edm, a vy si na opl\u00e1tku udr\u017e\u00edte dobrou v\u016fli a v\u00edru, \u017ee mi nejde o to \u201enadr\u017eovat\u201c tch\u00fdn\u00edm, ale poskytnout co neobjektivn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed u\u017eite\u010dn\u00e9 informace…!! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Za\u010dnu trochu ob\u0161\u00edrn\u011b. Kdy\u017e se dva lid\u00e9 vezmou, nespoj\u00ed dohromady pouze svoje dva osudy, ale tak\u00e9 sv\u00e9 dva rodinn\u00e9 syst\u00e9my, a to se v\u0161\u00edm v\u0161udy (s hodnotami, postoji, probl\u00e9my, z\u00e1vazky atd.) To samoz\u0159ejm\u011b plat\u00ed pro oba ve stejn\u00e9 m\u00ed\u0159e, ale v\u00edce to poc\u00edt\u00ed ten z\u00a0partner\u016f, kter\u00fd n\u00e1sleduje sv\u00e9ho druha a ocitne se, abych tak \u0159ekla, v\u00a0centru jeho rodinn\u00e9ho syst\u00e9mu. Tam plat\u00ed z\u00e1kon hierarchie, podle kter\u00e9ho ten, kdo p\u0159ijde posledn\u00ed, zast\u00e1v\u00e1 posledn\u00ed m\u00edsto. (Tento z\u00e1kon plat\u00ed pro v\u0161echny syst\u00e9my, a\u0165 u\u017e na vojn\u011b mezi nov\u00e1\u010dky a maz\u00e1ky, nebo v\u00a0zam\u011bstn\u00e1n\u00ed. Prost\u011b ten, kdo pr\u00e1v\u011b nastoupil, nebude br\u00e1n jako prvn\u00ed, i kdyby m\u011bl lep\u0161\u00ed titul, nad\u00e1n\u00ed, kr\u00e1su atd.atd.)<\/p>\n

Kdy\u017e dva lid\u00e9 zalo\u017e\u00ed rodinu, vznikne nov\u00e1 hierarchie (otec, matka, d\u011bti). Jen\u017ee, pokud tato nov\u011b vznikl\u00e1 rodina \u017eije uvnit\u0159 p\u016fvodn\u00ed rodiny, nen\u00ed to v\u016fbec jednoduch\u00e9 naj\u00edt rovnov\u00e1hu. Tv\u016fj man\u017eel mus\u00ed b\u00fdt sou\u010dasn\u011b hlavou va\u0161\u00ed nov\u00e9 rodiny a tak\u00e9 synem (plus ochr\u00e1ncem, nebo\u0165 je vdova) sv\u00e9 matky. Tehdy je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9, aby se s\u017eil se sv\u00fdmi nov\u00fdmi rolemi \u2013 man\u017eela a otce, a aby v n\u011bm tyto role p\u0159evl\u00e1dly. Aby se c\u00edtil b\u00fdt v\u00edc tv\u00fdm partnerem a t\u00e1tou, ne\u017e synem sv\u00e9 m\u00e1my. A to je proces, ve kter\u00e9m bys mo\u017en\u00e1 sv\u00fdm postojem mohla pomoct.<\/p>\n

Samoz\u0159ejm\u011b, ide\u00e1ln\u00ed by bylo, abyste s\u00a0man\u017eelem \u017eili samostatn\u011b<\/strong>, nebo\u0165 tak byste byli skute\u010dn\u011b rovnocenn\u00ed<\/strong>. Kdy\u017e si novoman\u017eel\u00e9 pronajmou spolu byt, vyberou si spole\u010dn\u011b za\u0159\u00edzen\u00ed, je to jejich a jenom jejich domov. Pak je p\u0159irozen\u00e9, \u017ee a\u0165 u\u017e p\u0159ijde kdokoliv z jejich rodi\u010d\u016f, bude \u0165ukat na dve\u0159e. Ale m\u00e1 to svoje nev\u00fdhody, mus\u00ed se nap\u0159. platit n\u00e1jem… Z\u00e1kladn\u00edm p\u0159edpokladem ke svobod\u011b je nez\u00e1vislost<\/strong>, a to nejen finan\u010dn\u00ed! (I \u010dlov\u011bk finan\u010dn\u011b z\u00e1visl\u00fd si m\u016f\u017ee diktovat a vymezovat sv\u00e1 pr\u00e1va, ale moc si tak nepom\u016f\u017ee, co se t\u00fdk\u00e1 vz\u00e1jemn\u00fdch vztah\u016f. Kdo m\u00e1 chu\u0165 pom\u00e1hat, pokud neuc\u00edt\u00ed uzn\u00e1n\u00ed ale naopak kritiku a po\u017eadavky?)<\/p>\n

Tak\u017ee, kdy\u017e u\u017e bydl\u00edte v\u00a0dom\u011b tch\u00fdn\u011b, (kter\u00fd asi po\u0159\u00e1d vn\u00edm\u00e1 jako sv\u016fj, proto\u017ee v\u00a0n\u011bm kdysi sama \u017eila a z\u0159ejm\u011b ho i pom\u00e1hala budovat,) jsi pro ni tak trochu jako \u201ena n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b\u201c. A to pro tebe ur\u010dit\u011b nen\u00ed p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00fd pocit…! \u00a0To, co pot\u0159ebuje\u0161, je, aby t\u011b opravdu p\u0159ijala<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Jist\u011b, ide\u00e1ln\u00ed by bylo, kdyby tch\u00fdn\u011b uznala, \u017ee m\u00e1te pr\u00e1vo na soukrom\u00ed<\/strong> a \u017ee novoman\u017eel\u00e9 pot\u0159ebuj\u00ed klid, aby se nau\u010dili spolu sou\u017e\u00edvat v\u00a0ka\u017edodennosti, aby si stanovili osobn\u00ed hranice \u00a0a pravidla ve vztahu. A kdybys m\u011bla ide\u00e1ln\u00ed tch\u00fdni, jist\u011b by ti pomohla vytvo\u0159it ide\u00e1ln\u00ed podm\u00ednky. Ale pokud ji nem\u00e1\u0161, pak je lep\u0161\u00ed se pokusit vytvo\u0159it co nejlep\u0161\u00ed podm\u00ednky v\u00a0r\u00e1mci \u00a0toho, co je. \u00a0<\/strong>A v\u00a0tom se ti pokus\u00edm poradit.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Vych\u00e1zej z\u00a0toho, \u017ee v\u0161echno, co miluje\u0161 u sv\u00e9ho mu\u017ee, m\u011blo po\u010d\u00e1tek pr\u00e1v\u011b v\u00a0t\u00e9to \u017een\u011b. Ona mu dala \u017eivot. Tv\u016fj mu\u017e a v\u0161echno, co k\u00a0n\u011bmu pat\u0159\u00ed, v\u010detn\u011b va\u0161eho vztahu, existuje d\u00edky n\u00ed<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Uv\u011bdom si, \u017ee z\u00e1kladem va\u0161eho vztahu s partnerem je pocit vz\u00e1jemn\u00e9 sexu\u00e1ln\u00ed p\u0159ita\u017elivosti a pocit v\u00fdj\u00edme\u010dnosti. Nic takov\u00e9ho mezi tebou a tvou tch\u00fdn\u00ed neplat\u00ed (na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed, nebo\u0165 bys r\u00e1zem m\u011bla jin\u00e9 probl\u00e9my \ud83d\ude42 ). \u00a0Tady nesta\u010d\u00ed, \u017ee jsi okouzluj\u00edc\u00ed a kr\u00e1sn\u00e1, mus\u00ed\u0161 si ji z\u00edskat<\/strong>. Ona si t\u011b nevybrala… Naopak ty jsi u\u010dinila svoji volbu. A k\u00a0t\u00e9 pat\u0159\u00ed i rodina tv\u00e9ho vyvolen\u00e9ho.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Uznej jej\u00ed m\u00edsto a sna\u017e se z\u00edskat si jej\u00ed d\u016fv\u011bru. Pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b se boj\u00ed, \u017ee \u201ep\u0159ijde o syna\u201c. Pokud poc\u00edt\u00ed, \u017ee ji respektuje\u0161<\/strong>, \u017ee s n\u00ed po\u010d\u00edt\u00e1\u0161, nap\u0159. jako s babi\u010dkou, \u017ee t\u011b zaj\u00edm\u00e1 jej\u00ed n\u00e1zor, \u017ee stoj\u00ed\u0161 o jej\u00ed pomoc, tak t\u011b uvid\u00ed jako p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitost pro\u017e\u00edt dal\u0161\u00ed hezk\u00e9 v\u011bci a ne jako nebezpe\u010d\u00ed, \u017ee ztrat\u00ed svoji citovou oporu (syna).<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Necht\u011bj v\u0161echno okam\u017eit\u011b p\u0159ed\u011blat podle sebe, nepodce\u0148uj a nekritizuj<\/strong>. St\u00e1v\u00e1 se, \u017ee ozna\u010dujeme jedn\u00e1n\u00ed jin\u00fdch za arogantn\u00ed a egoistick\u00e9 a nev\u0161imneme si toho, \u017ee i n\u00e1\u0161 postoj vych\u00e1z\u00ed z\u00a0arogantn\u00edho a sobeck\u00e9ho \u201eJ\u00e1 v\u00edm, jak je to spr\u00e1vn\u011b! J\u00e1 to d\u011bl\u00e1m l\u00edp!\u201c<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Nejde o to, kdo m\u00e1 pravdu nebo co je lep\u0161\u00ed. Jde o to naj\u00edt novou rovnov\u00e1hu<\/strong>. Jste te\u010f jedna rodina, je to babi\u010dka va\u0161eho d\u00edt\u011bte, kter\u00e9 pot\u0159ebuje jej\u00ed l\u00e1sku a m\u016f\u017ee z\u00a0n\u00ed m\u00edt velk\u00fd u\u017eitek. Je to nov\u00e1 situace pro v\u0161echny a ka\u017ed\u00fd si v\u00a0n\u00ed mus\u00ed naj\u00edt nov\u00e9 m\u00edsto.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Pokud je vdova, syn a\u0165 u\u017e v\u011bdom\u011b \u010di podv\u011bdom\u011b, nastoupil na m\u00edsto sv\u00e9ho otce. Sna\u017eil se matku chr\u00e1nit a napl\u0148ovat jej\u00ed pot\u0159eby, \u010dasto i ty citov\u00e9. Pokud bude m\u00edt pocit, \u017ee se ho od \u201etohoto posl\u00e1n\u00ed\u201c sna\u017e\u00ed\u0161 odtrhnout, bude m\u00edt vnit\u0159n\u00ed rozpor. Bude m\u00edt pocit, \u017ee d\u011bl\u00e1 n\u011bco \u0161patn\u011b, \u017ee zrazuje n\u011bkoho, koho m\u00e1 r\u00e1d. Kdy\u017e tomu nebude\u0161 st\u00e1t v cest\u011b, bude klidn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed. Kdy\u017e mu d\u00e1\u0161 najevo, \u017ee jste spojenci<\/strong>, bude ti vd\u011b\u010dn\u00fd. Nem\u00e1m t\u00edm na mysli, abyste oba svorn\u011b opra\u0161ovali matinku rodu!! Ale kdy\u017e se zm\u00edn\u00ed\u0161 ve prosp\u011bch tch\u00fdn\u011b jak\u00fdmkoliv zp\u016fsobem, man\u017eel to ocen\u00ed. A s\u00e1m pak bude schopn\u00fd ji brzdit tam, kde je to pot\u0159eba.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Nezapome\u0148, \u017ee vztah matka-d\u00edt\u011b je na cel\u00fd \u017eivot, nikdo se ho nen\u00ed ochoten \u00fapln\u011b vzd\u00e1t. Je to o pocitu soun\u00e1le\u017eitosti. Mu\u017e bude c\u00edtit men\u0161\u00ed pocit viny, kdy\u017e se rozejde s\u00a0man\u017eelkou, ne\u017e kdyby \u201ezapudil\u201c ovdov\u011blou matku. (Zvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165, pokud \u00a0je jedin\u00e1\u010dek!) Nehro\u0165te situaci a\u017e k dilematu \u201eBu\u010f j\u00e1 anebo ona!\u201c, proto\u017ee je celkem jasn\u00e9, kdo nakonec vyhraje… Dovolte si \u010das, tak aby va\u0161e zamilov\u00e1n\u00ed mohlo p\u0159ej\u00edt v\u00a0pevn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed vztah, kdy dob\u0159e zn\u00e1te jeden druh\u00e9ho a v\u00edte, pro\u010d se vz\u00e1jemn\u011b milujete. B\u011bhem t\u00e9 doby \u201eaklimatizace\u201c je lep\u0161\u00ed pozorovat, u\u010dit se, p\u0159izp\u016fsobit se nov\u00e9 situaci, nov\u00e9mu okol\u00ed, nov\u00e9 zemi. Je dobr\u00e9 v\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee schopnost se p\u0159izp\u016fsobit<\/strong> ukazuje velkou inteligenci<\/strong>. Snaha v\u0161echno zm\u011bnit ukazuje velkou v\u016fli, ale ne v\u017edy vede k\u00a0\u00fasp\u011bchu. P\u0159edpokl\u00e1d\u00e1m, \u017ee sis ho na\u0161la v\u00a0\u0158ecku, v\u00a0tomto prost\u0159ed\u00ed, v\u00a0t\u00e9to rodin\u011b. Nem\u016f\u017ee\u0161 o\u010dek\u00e1vat, \u017ee se kv\u016fli tob\u011b okam\u017eit\u011b a z\u00e1sadn\u011b zm\u011bn\u00ed, a s\u00a0n\u00edm i cel\u00e9 jeho okol\u00ed!<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Ona ho od d\u011btstv\u00ed formovala, proto po\u010d\u00edtej s\u00a0t\u00edm, \u017ee maj\u00ed do velk\u00e9 m\u00edry spole\u010dn\u00e9 hodnoty (mo\u017en\u00e1 ne p\u0159\u00edmo n\u00e1zory, ale hodnotov\u00fd syst\u00e9m). Proto je p\u0159irozen\u00e9, \u017ee s\u00a0n\u00ed v\u011bt\u0161inou souhlas\u00ed, neber to<\/strong> antagonisticky<\/strong>, nen\u00ed to nic proti tob\u011b! Prost\u011b mus\u00ed nap\u0159ed p\u0159ekro\u010dit vlastn\u00ed st\u00edn, vlastn\u00ed hranice, vyj\u00edt z\u00a0toho, v\u00a0\u010dem vyrostl a vytvo\u0159it si sv\u016fj n\u00e1zor. \u00da\u010dinn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, ne\u017e trvat na tom, aby s\u00a0tebou souhlasil, je \u0159\u00edct: \u201eHele, tvoje m\u00e1ma v\u011b\u0159\u00ed tomu….. J\u00e1 to vid\u00edm takhle….. Co si o tom mysl\u00ed\u0161 ty?\u201c Uv\u00e9st vlastn\u00ed argumenty a nechat ho, a\u0165 si to v\u00a0sob\u011b srovn\u00e1. Je mnohem lep\u0161\u00ed, kdy\u017e pak s\u00e1m po\u017e\u00e1d\u00e1 svoji matku o zm\u011bnu, proto\u017ee v\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee to tak bude lep\u0161\u00ed, ne\u017e proto\u017ee to po n\u011bm chce\u0161 ty.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Co se t\u00fd\u010de toho kou\u0159en\u00ed, to je o\u0161emetn\u00e1 v\u011bc… D\u00e1 se \u010dekat, \u017ee kdy\u017e byl tv\u016fj man\u017eel je\u0161t\u011b miminko, tak\u00e9 p\u0159ed n\u00edm kou\u0159ila, proto to d\u011bl\u00e1 i te\u010f p\u0159ed vnou\u010d\u00e1tkem. Kdy\u017e j\u00ed bude\u0161 kou\u0159en\u00ed vy\u010d\u00edtat, je to jako bys j\u00ed t\u00edm \u0159\u00edkala, \u017ee nebyla dobr\u00e1 matka ani pro sv\u00e9ho syna. Prost\u011b j\u00ed to nikdy nenapadlo, \u017ee to d\u011b\u0165\u00e1tku \u0161kod\u00ed, a pokud to bude respektovat \u00a0te\u010f, tak je to sp\u00ed\u0161 z\u00e1zrak a ber to jako projev dobr\u00e9 v\u016fle a ne jako samoz\u0159ejmost. Pokud se to nepovede, tak to cel\u00e9 ber s\u00a0rezervou<\/strong>. Mali\u010dk\u00e9 to nezkaz\u00ed zdrav\u00ed, rozhodn\u011b ne v\u00edc, ne\u017e h\u00e1dky v\u00a0rodin\u011b. Pokud by za\u010dala ka\u0161lat a zjevn\u011b j\u00ed to vadilo, tak to uvid\u00ed tat\u00ednek i babi\u010dka a, v\u011b\u0159\u00edm, p\u0159estanou p\u0159ed n\u00ed kou\u0159it ze sv\u00e9 v\u016fle.<\/p>\n

– Ob\u010das si zkus p\u0159edstavit, jak\u00e9 by to bylo, kdyby t\u011b man\u017eel n\u00e1sledoval do tv\u00e9 vlasti a kdyby cht\u011bl p\u0159ed\u011blat zvyky ve tv\u00e9 rodin\u011b a p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm tv\u00e9ho tat\u00ednka…!! To by asi byl mazec, vi\u010f?!! \ud83d\ude42\u00a0 V\u00ed\u0161, v bl\u00edzkosti sv\u00fdch rodi\u010d\u016f se st\u00e1v\u00e1me tak trochu d\u011btmi. R\u00e1di se nech\u00e1v\u00e1me ope\u010dov\u00e1vat, pokud jsou rodi\u010de st\u00e1le je\u0161t\u011b ochotn\u00ed to d\u011blat. Ty by ses toho snadno vzdala u v\u00e1s doma?\u00a0 Sna\u017e se b\u00fdt tolerantn\u00ed<\/strong>.\u00a0 Na druh\u00e9 stran\u011b, v\u0161eho moc \u0161kod\u00ed. Pokud je tv\u016fj mu\u017e permanentn\u011b ve st\u00ednu sv\u00e9 matky a chov\u00e1 se jako \u201ejej\u00ed mal\u00fd chlape\u010dek\u201c, \u0159ekni, \u017ee mu to ub\u00edr\u00e1 na mu\u017enosti. Prost\u011b to pro \u017eenu nen\u00ed sexy a je dobr\u00e9, aby si toho byl v\u011bdom. Tak\u017ee: Sn\u011bzte tch\u00fdninu dobr\u016ftku spolu, sta\u0148te se oba d\u011btmi. Anebo oba dosp\u011bl\u00fdmi, co nad t\u00edm m\u00e1vnou rukou. Plujte s\u00a0man\u017eelem na stejn\u00e9 vln\u011b, a\u0165 se vz\u00e1jemn\u011b neztrat\u00edte.<\/p>\n

– Pamatuj na pravidlo, \u017ee jak se syn chov\u00e1 k\u00a0matce, tak se pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b bude v\u00a0budoucnu (i po rozplynut\u00ed v\u00e1\u0161niv\u00e9ho zamilov\u00e1n\u00ed) chovat k\u00a0partnerce. Cht\u011bla bys takov\u00e9ho, kter\u00fd m\u00e1 nez\u00e1jem o svou rodinu a jej\u00ed pot\u0159eby?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Pozor na nebezpe\u010d\u00ed postoje: \u201eTch\u00fdn\u011b m\u016f\u017ee za v\u0161echno!\u201c\u00a0 Nikdy nenese zodpov\u011bdnost pouze jeden jedin\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk. Ber celou situaci jako v\u00fdzvu. Pokud nem\u016f\u017ee\u0161 \u00a0prov\u00e9st \u201ezkrocen\u00ed zl\u00e9 tch\u00fdn\u011b\u201c, ud\u011blej\u00a0 to, co ud\u011blat m\u016f\u017ee\u0161, zm\u011b\u0148 sv\u016fj postoj<\/strong>! Samoz\u0159ejm\u011b je pot\u0159eba, abyste si s man\u017eelem nastavili n\u011bjak\u00e1 pravidla – hranice, abyste jako man\u017eel\u00e9 m\u011bli soukrom\u00ed. Je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e1 forma, jakou se to ud\u011bl\u00e1, zp\u016fsob, jak\u00fdm to tch\u00fdni \u0159eknete, tak aby to v\u00edce pomohlo, ne\u017e u\u0161kodilo.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0 Po\u0161li j\u00ed ob\u010das hrne\u010dek s\u00a0n\u011bjakou obzvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 povedenou \u010deskou specialitou. Zeptej se j\u00ed na n\u011bjak\u00fd \u0159eck\u00fd recept, pochval j\u00ed jej\u00ed j\u00eddlo, a pokud ti nechutn\u00e1, zmi\u0148 se, \u017ee man\u017eelovi moc chutn\u00e1. Zjisti v\u00a0\u010dem<\/strong> je dobr\u00e1<\/strong> a nech si od n\u00ed poradit. Prosp\u011bje to ob\u011bma. Neboj se j\u00ed sv\u011b\u0159it, \u0159ekni j\u00ed, \u017ee ti \u010dasto chyb\u00ed m\u00e1ma, \u017ee to nen\u00ed snadn\u00e9 b\u00fdt v ciz\u00ed zemi, kde se v\u0161echno d\u011bl\u00e1 jinak, ne\u017e jsi byla zvykl\u00e1. Mo\u017en\u00e1 si to nikdy neuv\u011bdomila, jak to mus\u00ed b\u00fdt pro tebe t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9. T\u0159eba v tob\u011b vid\u00ed jenom ciz\u00edho \u010dlov\u011bka, kter\u00fd chce \u201ezav\u00e1d\u011bt nov\u00e9 moresy\u201c!\u00a0 I lid\u00e9, kte\u0159\u00ed funguj\u00ed antagonisticky, na up\u0159\u00edmn\u00e9 \u201eodhalen\u00ed slabiny\u201c reaguj\u00ed nab\u00eddnut\u00edm p\u0159\u00e1telstv\u00ed a pomoci. Na odm\u00edt\u00e1n\u00ed reaguj\u00ed odm\u00edt\u00e1n\u00edm, na soupe\u0159en\u00ed o moc reaguj\u00ed soupe\u0159en\u00edm, ale kdy\u017e s nimi tuto hru nebude\u0161 hr\u00e1t, kdy\u017e p\u0159izn\u00e1\u0161, \u017ee i ty m\u00e1\u0161 slab\u00e1 m\u00edsta, okam\u017eit\u011b p\u0159est\u00e1vaj\u00ed bojovat, proto\u017ee se t\u011b p\u0159est\u00e1vaj\u00ed b\u00e1t.<\/p>\n

– Co se t\u00fdk\u00e1 zabl\u00e1cen\u00fdch bot a st\u00edr\u00e1n\u00ed prachu prstem, mysl\u00ed\u0161 si, \u017ee to je c\u00edlen\u00e1 \u0161ikana, nebo sp\u00ed\u0161 bezmy\u0161lenkovit\u00e1 reakce? Pokud t\u011b tv\u00e1 tch\u00fdn\u011b opravdu terorizuje, mo\u017en\u00e1 do\u0161lo k n\u011bjak\u00e9 chyb\u011b i z tv\u00e9 strany. Nejsp\u00ed\u0161 se c\u00edt\u00ed v ohro\u017een\u00ed a chce ti d\u00e1t najevo, kdo m\u00e1 navrch. Asi by st\u00e1lo za to \u0159\u00edct j\u00ed, \u017ee si v\u00e1\u017e\u00ed\u0161 v\u0161eho, co pro v\u00e1s ud\u011blala, a \u017ee v\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee ten \u00fa\u017easn\u00fd mu\u017e, kter\u00e9ho miluje\u0161, je v\u00fdsledkem i jej\u00ed snahy<\/strong>. N\u011bkdy takov\u00e9 prohl\u00e1\u0161en\u00ed dok\u00e1\u017ee ud\u011blat ve vztahu z\u00e1zrak. Jen je pot\u0159eba, abys tomu v\u011b\u0159ila. Kdybys to jen p\u0159edst\u00edrala, tak to asi nebude fungovat…<\/p>\n

Kdy\u017e jsou dva lid\u00e9 zamilovan\u00ed, tak si p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm v\u0161\u00edmaj\u00ed sv\u00fdch kr\u00e1sn\u00fdch vlastnost\u00ed. Kdy\u017e nejsou zamilovan\u00ed, tak si v\u0161\u00edmaj\u00ed v\u0161eho. Kdy\u017e jsou zaujat\u00ed, tak se zam\u011b\u0159\u00ed na negativn\u00ed prvky. Mo\u017en\u00e1, \u017ee n\u011bkter\u00e9 tch\u00fdn\u011b jsou zaujat\u00e9, je to asi \u010dast\u00fd jev a d\u011bje se na cel\u00e9m sv\u011bt\u011b. To proto, \u017ee je to jedna z nejt\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00edch zkou\u0161ek, milovat sv\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b a sou\u010dasn\u011b ho respektovat a ct\u00edt jeho pr\u00e1vo na svobodu a volbu (a nejt\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00ed na tom je, \u017ee je t\u0159eba to d\u011blat od mali\u010dka a ne a\u017e kdy\u017e u\u017e je dosp\u011bl\u00fd a zamilovan\u00fd. Tehdy u\u017e to jde matk\u00e1m dost \u00a0t\u011b\u017eko!)
\nD\u00e1 se \u0159\u00edct, \u017ee souhrn m\u00fdch rad byl ur\u010den do \u010dasov\u00e9ho obdob\u00ed, ne\u017e vznikne zaujatost. Pr\u00e1v\u011b proto, aby se t\u00e9to zaujatosti dalo p\u0159edej\u00edt. Abys mohla n\u011bkoho spr\u00e1vn\u011b ocenit (ohodnotit), mus\u00ed\u0161 ho nejprve poznat<\/strong>. To \u010dasto tch\u00fdn\u011b ned\u011blaj\u00ed (bohu\u017eel ani \u0159ada ze snach), obvykle vejdou do vztahu s \u0159adou p\u0159edsudk\u016f a za\u010dnou t\u00edm, \u017ee komentuj\u00ed, ur\u010duj\u00ed si pravidla a vymezuj\u00ed pr\u00e1va ostatn\u00edch. To nen\u00ed pro vztah dobr\u00e9, a\u0165 u\u017e to d\u011bl\u00e1 jedna strana, nebo ta druh\u00e1.
\nV\u0161e, co jsem napsala, je ur\u010deno snach\u00e1m, proto\u017ee ony \u010dtou tyto \u0159\u00e1dky, ve snaze inspirovat je v p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b, \u017ee jsou ochotn\u00e9 cht\u00edt vytvo\u0159it dobr\u00fd vztah s tch\u00fdn\u00ed. Aby vyu\u017eily \u010dasu pozn\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed a pokusily se svou tch\u00fdni l\u00e9pe poznat a taky se nechat poznat. To znamen\u00e1 \u0159\u00edkat sv\u016fj n\u00e1zor, vysv\u011btlit, jak to bylo u n\u00e1s doma, mluvit o sv\u00fdch p\u0159\u00e1n\u00edch a p\u0159edstav\u00e1ch. Ne tch\u00fdni ustupovat a poko\u0159ovat se, ale naopak, b\u00fdt otev\u0159en\u00e1 a m\u00edt dobrou v\u016fli. Pro p\u0159\u00edpad, \u017ee tch\u00fdn\u011b nen\u00ed zaujat\u00e1…<\/p>\n

Pokud se bude\u0161 sna\u017eit s n\u00ed vych\u00e1zet, a p\u0159esto se situace nikterak nezlep\u0161\u00ed a tch\u00fdn\u011b bude st\u00e1le vys\u00edlat \u0161kodolib\u00e9 vlny, pak mo\u017en\u00e1 \u201enen\u00ed chyba na tv\u00e9m p\u0159ij\u00edma\u010di\u201c. N\u011bkter\u00e9 matky nejsou schopn\u00e9 p\u0159ijmout, \u017ee synkov\u00e9 u\u017e vyrostli a nejsou „jejich“. Pak nemohou ani respektovat jejich volbu o\u017eenit se s \u017eenou, kterou miluj\u00ed. A ned\u00e1 se \u010dekat, \u017ee budou respektovat snachu s jin\u00fdmi zvyky a kulturou. V takov\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b snad man\u017eel pochop\u00ed, \u017ee nem\u016f\u017ee\u0161 z\u016fstat v dom\u011b, kde se d\u011bj\u00ed v\u011bci na \u00fakor tv\u00e9 sebe\u00facty. Bylo by lep\u0161\u00ed hledat cestu, jak se osamostatnit a odst\u011bhovat. P\u0159esto bude dobr\u00e9 s n\u00ed udr\u017eet \u00a0kontakt, alespo\u0148 jako s babi\u010dkou dcerky. Tch\u00fdn\u011b, a\u0165 u\u017e je jak\u00e1koliv, nen\u00ed ciz\u00ed \u010dlov\u011bk. Cokoliv investujeme do p\u0159edk\u016f na\u0161ich potomk\u016f (v\u010detn\u011b sebe), se mnohon\u00e1sobn\u011b vr\u00e1t\u00ed ve form\u011b l\u00e1sky, pro celou rodinu.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tak\u017ee, na z\u00e1v\u011br:\u00a0 Mil\u00e1 B, sama v\u00ed\u0161 dost dob\u0159e, jak se c\u00edt\u00ed\u0161, a proto se moc tv\u00fdmi (jist\u011b opr\u00e1vn\u011bn\u00fdmi) stesky nezab\u00fdv\u00e1m. Nem\u00e1 smysl spole\u010dn\u011b nad\u00e1vat na tch\u00fdni (to ostatn\u011b velmi ochotn\u011b ud\u011blaj\u00ed \u010dten\u00e1\u0159ky v koment\u00e1\u0159\u00edch). \ud83d\ude09 To, co m\u00e1 pro tebe smysl, je mo\u017enost pod\u00edvat se na v\u011bc z jin\u00e9 strany. O to jsem se pr\u00e1v\u011b pokusila a rozhodn\u011b to nen\u00ed tak, \u017ee bych v\u011b\u0159ila, \u017ee tch\u00fdn\u011b je v pr\u00e1vu a ty ne. Kdyby dotaz polo\u017eila tchyn\u011b, psala bych j\u00ed o tom, jak se c\u00edt\u00ed snacha, a co m\u016f\u017ee ud\u011blat ona, aby zm\u011bnila sv\u016fj postoj. V\u017edy p\u00ed\u0161u pro toho, kdo se pt\u00e1, nebo\u0165 ten dr\u017e\u00ed v ruce \u0161anci n\u011bco zm\u011bnit.<\/p>\n

A pro v\u0161echny dal\u0161\u00ed snachy: Situace ka\u017ed\u00e9ho \u010dlov\u011bka je ojedin\u011bl\u00e1 a d\u00e1 se jen t\u011b\u017eko posoudit, zda by mohl nebo ne d\u011blat n\u011bco l\u00e9pe… Mezi n\u00e1mi: jinak se \u0159\u00edd\u00ed osobn\u00ed auto a jinak t\u011b\u017ekoton\u00e1\u017en\u00ed n\u00e1kla\u010f\u00e1k! Mo\u017en\u00e1 existuj\u00ed lid\u00e9 (respektive tch\u00fdn\u011b), se kter\u00fdmi to prost\u011b nehne, a\u0165 d\u011bl\u00e1te, co d\u011bl\u00e1te… Berte moje rady jako pokus o \u201ezv\u00fd\u0161en\u00ed kategorie \u0159idi\u010dsk\u00e9ho pr\u016fkazu\u201c v p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b, \u017ee m\u00e1te chu\u0165 se nau\u010dit situaci l\u00e9pe ovl\u00e1dat. A nen\u00ed to o manipulaci druh\u00fdm \u010dlov\u011bkem (man\u017eelem nebo tch\u00fdn\u00ed), ale o um\u011bn\u00ed dr\u017eet volant, jet sm\u011brem, kter\u00fdm chci a nenabourat! \ud83d\ude42 Hodn\u011b \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed!<\/p>\n

S\u00a0l\u00e1skou \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Kalli<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
14.2.2013 84 koment\u00e1\u0159\u016f<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mil\u00e1 Kalli, Bydl\u00edme ve stejn\u00e9m dom\u011b s tch\u00fdn\u00ed. Ta, kdy\u017e ovdov\u011bla, p\u0159enechala n\u00e1m horn\u00ed patro s velk\u00fdm bytem a sama se odst\u011bhovala do mal\u00e9ho p\u0159\u00edzemn\u00edho bytu. M\u00e1 ale pocit, \u017ee ten byt je po\u0159\u00e1d jej\u00ed a bez pozv\u00e1n\u00ed k n\u00e1m chod\u00ed, kdykoliv se j\u00ed zachce. Je\u0161t\u011b k tomu nen\u00ed zvykl\u00e1 se zouvat, tak\u017ee n\u00e1m p\u0159ijde […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":903,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKalli rad\u00ed (4) \u0158eck\u00e1 tch\u00fdn\u011b - Kalliopi Anthi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/kalliopi-anthi.gr\/cs\/kalli-radi-4-recka-tchyne\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"cs_CZ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kalli rad\u00ed (4) \u0158eck\u00e1 tch\u00fdn\u011b - Kalliopi Anthi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mil\u00e1 Kalli, Bydl\u00edme ve stejn\u00e9m dom\u011b s tch\u00fdn\u00ed. Ta, kdy\u017e ovdov\u011bla, p\u0159enechala n\u00e1m horn\u00ed patro s velk\u00fdm bytem a sama se odst\u011bhovala do mal\u00e9ho p\u0159\u00edzemn\u00edho bytu. M\u00e1 ale pocit, \u017ee ten byt je po\u0159\u00e1d jej\u00ed a bez pozv\u00e1n\u00ed k n\u00e1m chod\u00ed, kdykoliv se j\u00ed zachce. 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