{"id":393,"date":"2018-11-29T08:58:07","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T06:58:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gocreations.info\/kalliopianthi\/?p=393"},"modified":"2019-10-19T21:36:13","modified_gmt":"2019-10-19T19:36:13","slug":"kalli-radi-8-neposlusne-dite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kalliopi-anthi.gr\/cs\/kalli-radi-8-neposlusne-dite\/","title":{"rendered":"Kalli rad\u00ed (8) Neposlu\u0161n\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b"},"content":{"rendered":"
Ahoj Kalli,<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
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pora\u010f mi, pros\u00edm, jak vychov\u00e1vat syna. M\u00e1 mezi t\u0159et\u00edm a \u010dtvrt\u00fdm rokem a p\u0159irozen\u011b se te\u010f hl\u00e1s\u00ed ke slovu jeho osobnost. \u010casto bojujeme o mali\u010dkosti. Do \u0161kolky chod\u00ed v py\u017e\u00e1mku, proto\u017ee se odm\u00edt\u00e1 p\u0159evl\u00e9knout do tri\u010dka, kter\u00e9 p\u0159iprav\u00edm. Na t\u0159\u00edkolce chce jet rychle a kdy\u017e chci, aby jel pomalu, tak s n\u00ed vzteky sekne a rad\u011bji nepojede v\u016fbec a vztek ho dr\u017e\u00ed t\u0159eba i n\u011bkolik hodin. Na hlavu si \u010depici ned\u00e1. Spinkat chce j\u00edt a\u017e se rozhodne.<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
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V\u011bt\u0161inou to aplikuje hlavn\u011b na m\u011b. Na prarodi\u010de a tat\u00ednka moc ne. Je to ur\u010dit\u011b v po\u0159\u00e1dku, mus\u00ed zkou\u0161et jak to funguje, jak reagujeme. Ale pt\u00e1m se tedy, jak si mysl\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee lze reagovat. Je pot\u0159eba uk\u00e1zat, \u017ee neustoup\u00edm? Trvat, \u017ee si obl\u00e9kne v\u011bci, kter\u00e9 j\u00e1 chci, \u017ee p\u016fjdeme doprava, kdy\u017e on chce jen doleva, za cenu, \u017ee bude \u0159v\u00e1t n\u011bkolik hodin jako tur? Nebo v\u011bci ned\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9, jako oble\u010den\u00ed, p\u0159ehl\u00ed\u017eet. Nechat a\u0165 si rozhoduje.<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
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V\u00edm, v \u010cech\u00e1ch se sp\u00ed\u0161e vychov\u00e1valo k poslu\u0161nosti, neodmlouv\u00e1n\u00ed. Naopak, kdy\u017e jsem pracovala v Mnichov\u011b jako au-pair, tak tam vychov\u00e1vali velmi liber\u00e1ln\u011b. Dovolilo se v\u0161e, co d\u00edt\u011b cht\u011blo, aby se nepotla\u010dovala jeho osobnost.<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
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Ale v\u017edy si vzpomenu na kn\u00ed\u017eku pan\u00ed doktorky Ji\u0159iny Prekopov\u00e9, jak tam p\u00ed\u0161e o \u201ed\u011btsk\u00e9m tyranovi\u201c, kter\u00fd to dot\u00e1hl s rodi\u010di tak daleko, \u017ee tat\u00ednek musel st\u00e1t za oknem na \u017eeb\u0159\u00edku a maminka le\u017eela na sk\u0159\u00edni v klobouku a on pak milostiv\u011b jedl ka\u0161i.:)) Tak co ty na to?<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
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D\u00edky za odpov\u011b\u010f , D.<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
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Mil\u00e1 D.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Za\u010dnu \u00fapln\u011b od za\u010d\u00e1tku. Jak se asi vn\u00edm\u00e1 miminko v b\u0159\u00ed\u0161ku matky? \u201eNa po\u010d\u00e1tku v\u0161eho je M\u00c1MA! M\u00e1ma je m\u016fj vesm\u00edr, m\u00e1ma je cel\u00fd m\u016fj sv\u011bt, m\u00e1ma a j\u00e1 jsme JEDNO…!\u201c<\/i>\u00a0 A pak se najednou d\u011b\u0165\u00e1tko narod\u00ed a v\u0161echno je jinak. U\u017e se mu neuspokojuje automaticky, p\u0159es pupe\u010dn\u00ed \u0161\u0148\u016fru, jeho pot\u0159eba j\u00eddla, ztratilo neust\u00e1l\u00fd kontakt s maminkou, stabiln\u00ed teplotu prost\u0159ed\u00ed atd. atd. Najednou je v jin\u00e9m sv\u011bt\u011b a postupn\u011b si za\u010dne uv\u011bdomovat svoji identitu. Chvilku to trv\u00e1, ale ve v\u011bku tv\u00e9ho synka u\u017e je d\u00e1vno sm\u00ed\u0159eno s t\u00edm, \u017ee mezi n\u00edm a maminkou je rozd\u00edl, \u017ee jsou to dv\u011b odli\u0161n\u00e9 bytosti, kter\u00e9 maj\u00ed jin\u00e9 pot\u0159eby a jin\u00e9 n\u00e1zory na v\u011bc. Nav\u00edc je ale na mamince z\u00e1visl\u00e9, t\u011blesn\u011b i citov\u011b, ona je po\u0159\u00e1d \u201ecel\u00fd jeho sv\u011bt<\/i>\u201c, n\u011bco jako bo\u017estvo, jen\u017ee te\u010f u\u017e se nevn\u00edm\u00e1 jako jej\u00ed sou\u010d\u00e1st, nen\u00ed v n\u00ed, ale vn\u011b. A tady se za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 formovat jeho osobnost. Za\u010d\u00edn\u00e1 se vyhrazovat. \u201eKdy\u017e nejsem ONA, kdo tedy jsem?\u201c <\/i>Jedin\u00e1 cesta, jak z\u00edskat vlastn\u00ed n\u00e1zor, je nesouhlasit s n\u00e1zorem autority. Jinak to nejde. Pokud by d\u00edt\u011b bylo jenom a za v\u0161ech okolnost\u00ed poslu\u0161n\u00e9, nikdy by si nevytvo\u0159ilo vlastn\u00ed pohled na sv\u011bt, vlastn\u00ed osobnost, ne\u0161lo by vlastn\u00ed cestou. Byla by to jen kopie rodi\u010d\u016f. Ale to, na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed, nen\u00ed mo\u017en\u00e9, nebo\u0165 lidsk\u00e1 bytost je daleko v\u00edc, ne\u017e jen geneticky p\u0159edan\u00e9 charakteristiky od rodi\u010d\u016f a vycepovan\u00e9, spole\u010densk\u00e9 chov\u00e1n\u00ed. Ka\u017ed\u00e1 lidsk\u00e1 bytost m\u00e1 i svou du\u0161i a v n\u00ed si nese pot\u0159ebu b\u00fdt sama sebou a naj\u00edt si sv\u00e9 specifick\u00e9 posl\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/span><\/div>\n
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N\u011bkter\u00e9 v\u011bci je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9, aby se d\u00edt\u011b nau\u010dilo od maminky, na n\u011bkter\u00e9 je lep\u0161\u00ed, kdy\u017e si p\u0159ijde samo… D\u00edt\u011b, kter\u00e9 se vysek\u00e1 na t\u0159\u00edkolce, z\u00edsk\u00e1 cenn\u00e9 zku\u0161enosti, za kter\u00e9 zaplat\u00ed relativn\u011b malou cenu. Nau\u010d\u00ed se ale, jak bezpe\u010dn\u011b jezdit na kole a bude mnohem opatrn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ohledn\u011b vysok\u00e9 rychlosti, a\u017e jednou bude jezdit na motorce. Pro maminky je to v\u011bt\u0161inou \u201em\u016fj\u00a0 mal\u00fd chlape\u010dek\u201c, <\/i>ale ne\u0161kodilo by ob\u010das si ho p\u0159edstavit, jak\u00fd bude za 5 nebo 10 let. D\u0159\u00edv nebo pozd\u011bji bude cht\u00edt zakusit rozko\u0161 z rychlosti, ale kdy\u017e to za\u010dne d\u011blat a\u017e v pubert\u011b, bude mu chyb\u011bt zku\u0161enost, bude se cht\u00edt p\u0159edv\u00e1d\u011bt p\u0159ed kamar\u00e1dy a bude si cht\u00edt dok\u00e1zat to, co by si b\u00fdval mohl dok\u00e1zat u\u017e ve 4 letech. Cena ale m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt mnohem vy\u0161\u0161\u00ed…<\/span><\/div>\n
Nen\u00ed vhodn\u00e9 \u0159\u00edct d\u00edt\u011bti: \u201eSpadne\u0161!\u201c nebo \u201eNeubrzd\u00ed\u0161 to!\u201c, proto\u017ee to m\u016f\u017ee vytvo\u0159it jak\u00e9si naprogramov\u00e1n\u00ed ne\u00fasp\u011bchu. Lep\u0161i je \u0159\u00edct n\u011bco ve smyslu: \u201eTo je ale velk\u00fd kopec! To chce na br\u017ed\u011bn\u00ed siln\u00e9 ruce (pop\u0159. nohy \u2013 podle toho jak\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem se konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed t\u0159\u00edkolka brzd\u00ed)!\u201c Takto d\u00edt\u011bti p\u0159ipomenete, \u017ee je pot\u0159eba, aby neztratilo kontrolu, a sou\u010dasn\u011b mu d\u00e1te najevo, \u017ee mu fand\u00edte a d\u016fv\u011b\u0159ujete. <\/span><\/div>\n
N\u011bkter\u00e9 maminky jsou hodn\u011b \u00fazkostn\u00e9 a v\u011bd\u00ed to o sob\u011b. Pokud \u0159eknou d\u00edt\u011bti: \u201eM\u00e1m o tebe strach, aby sis neubl\u00ed\u017eil, ale jestli mysl\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee to zvl\u00e1dne\u0161, tak to zkus!\u201c, tak povedou d\u00edt\u011b k opatrnosti, ani\u017e na n\u011bj p\u0159enesou sv\u016fj strach. Pokud si d\u00edt\u011b troufne, pak m\u016f\u017eou oba vychutnat triumf v\u00edt\u011bzstv\u00ed, nebo\u0165 i maminka p\u0159ekonala sv\u016fj strach a d\u00edt\u011b to ocen\u00ed. Pokud se d\u00edt\u011b nech\u00e1 odradit, tak aspo\u0148 m\u00e1minu pozn\u00e1mku nevn\u00edm\u00e1 jako z\u00e1kaz nebo osobn\u00ed zpochybn\u011bn\u00ed, ale sp\u00ed\u0161 jako varov\u00e1n\u00ed. Matky, kter\u00e9 m\u00e1lokdy p\u0159ikazuj\u00ed nebo zakazuj\u00ed v nep\u0159\u00edli\u0161 podstatn\u00fdch z\u00e1le\u017eitostech, kdy\u017e pak rezolutn\u011b \u0159eknou: \u201eTo ned\u011blej, to je moc nebezpe\u010dn\u00e9!\u201c, v\u011bt\u0161inou b\u00fdvaj\u00ed sv\u00fdmi d\u011btmi okam\u017eit\u011b respektov\u00e1ny.<\/span><\/div>\n
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To, \u017ee chod\u00ed do \u0161kolky v py\u017e\u00e1mku, nen\u00ed nikterak nebezpe\u010dn\u00e9, a tak nen\u00ed pot\u0159eba se t\u00edm p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 tr\u00e1pit. N\u011bkdy pom\u016f\u017ee, kdy\u017e si toho v\u0161imnou jin\u00e9 d\u011bti a zasm\u011bj\u00ed se tomu, a pak se na\u0161e poup\u00e1tko rad\u0161i obl\u00e9kne do tri\u010dka. Tak\u00e9 by asi bylo ochotn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed se p\u0159evl\u00e9knout, kdybys mu nep\u0159ipravovala jedno tri\u010dko, ale nechala ho si vybrat ze dvou, maxim\u00e1ln\u011b t\u0159\u00ed tri\u010dek.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Co k t\u00e9matu \u2013 mal\u00fd tyran? D\u00edt\u011b, aby se mohlo c\u00edtit v bezpe\u010d\u00ed a sou\u010dasn\u011b svobodn\u00e9, pot\u0159ebuje jasn\u00e1 pravidla. Je t\u0159eba, aby dosp\u011bl\u00ed stanovili hranice. Kdy\u017e d\u00edt\u011b p\u0159ikazuje rodi\u010d\u016fm, co maj\u00ed d\u011blat, a oni ho poslouchaj\u00ed, odep\u00edraj\u00ed mu mo\u017enost b\u00fdt d\u00edt\u011btem. Takov\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b se sice m\u016f\u017ee c\u00edtit d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 a siln\u00e9, ale sou\u010dasn\u011b je i velmi zraniteln\u00e9. Nem\u00e1 \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 \u201eochrann\u00e1 k\u0159\u00eddla\u201c, pod kter\u00e1 by se mohlo schoulit, proto\u017ee jeho rodi\u010de jsou slab\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e ono samo. Je to draze zaplacen\u00e1 nadvl\u00e1da a nemysl\u00edm, \u017ee bych kdy sly\u0161ela o n\u011bjak\u00e9m \u0161\u0165astn\u00e9m tyranovi.<\/span><\/div>\n
Kdy\u017e m\u00e1 d\u00edt\u011b jasn\u00e9 hranice a zn\u00e1 d\u016fsledky toho, co se stane, kdy\u017e je p\u0159ekro\u010d\u00ed, tak m\u00e1 svobodnou volbu. N\u011bkdy poslechne a u\u017e\u00edv\u00e1 si toho, \u017ee je \u201ehodn\u00fd chlape\u010dek\u201c nebo \u201ehodn\u00e1 hol\u010di\u010dka\u201c, jindy neposlechne a u\u017e\u00edv\u00e1 si toho, \u017ee se rozhoduje samo za sebe a nese n\u00e1sledky sv\u00e9 volby. To jsou v\u0161echno d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 z\u00e1\u017eitky pro jeho v\u00fdvoj a formuj\u00ed jeho sebed\u016fv\u011bru a sebe\u00factu.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Jestli m\u016f\u017eu n\u011bco poradit, tak nera\u010fte p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 sv\u00fdm d\u011btem, co maj\u00ed nebo nemaj\u00ed d\u011blat. \u010casto, i kdy\u017e v\u011bd\u00ed, \u017ee rodi\u010de maj\u00ed pravdu, nem\u016f\u017eou poslechnout, proto\u017ee maj\u00ed pot\u0159ebu ud\u011blat to po sv\u00e9m. A tak se st\u00e1v\u00e1, \u017ee n\u011bkdy sami dotla\u010d\u00edme sv\u00e9 d\u011bti do jedn\u00e1n\u00ed, kter\u00e9 by nikdy nevolily, kdybychom jim neradili, co maj\u00ed d\u011blat. Vzpome\u0148te si, jak je nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9, kdy\u017e v\u00e1m n\u011bkdo \u0159ekne a\u0165 ud\u011bl\u00e1te to, co se zrovna chyst\u00e1te ud\u011blat. Nem\u00e1te chu\u0165 s t\u00edm pra\u0161tit a rad\u0161i ud\u011blat prav\u00fd opak?<\/span><\/div>\n
Radujte se z \u00fasp\u011bchu sv\u00e9ho d\u00edt\u011bte i v p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b, \u017ee ud\u011blalo n\u011bco, co jste mu nedoporu\u010dili. Tak pozn\u00e1, \u017ee v\u00e1m jde o jeho rozvoj a bezpe\u010d\u00ed a ne o to, abyste m\u011bli za ka\u017edou cenu pravdu. Kdy\u017e mu dovol\u00edte, aby taky m\u011blo pr\u00e1vo na svoji pravdu, bude sp\u00ed\u0161 respektovat i tu va\u0161i.<\/span><\/div>\n
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D\u016fv\u011b\u0159ujte sv\u00fdm d\u011btem, \u017ee budou podobn\u011b moudr\u00e9 jako vy, jen co nasb\u00edraj\u00ed trochu vlastn\u00ed zku\u0161enosti. Stejn\u011b se od v\u00e1s nau\u010dily v\u0161echno to nejd\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed: Ne, co o sv\u011bt\u011b \u0159\u00edk\u00e1te, ale to, jac\u00ed jste. A jablko nepad\u00e1 daleko od stromu…<\/span><\/div>\n
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S l\u00e1skou\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Kalli<\/span><\/div>\n
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Dotazy m\u016f\u017eete pos\u00edlat na kalianth@yahoo.gr<\/a><\/div>\n

15.5.2013<\/span>6 koment\u00e1\u0159\u016f<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ahoj Kalli, pora\u010f mi, pros\u00edm, jak vychov\u00e1vat syna. M\u00e1 mezi t\u0159et\u00edm a \u010dtvrt\u00fdm rokem a p\u0159irozen\u011b se te\u010f hl\u00e1s\u00ed ke slovu jeho osobnost. \u010casto bojujeme o mali\u010dkosti. Do \u0161kolky chod\u00ed v py\u017e\u00e1mku, proto\u017ee se odm\u00edt\u00e1 p\u0159evl\u00e9knout do tri\u010dka, kter\u00e9 p\u0159iprav\u00edm. Na t\u0159\u00edkolce chce jet rychle a kdy\u017e chci, aby jel pomalu, tak s n\u00ed vzteky […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":991,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKalli rad\u00ed (8) Neposlu\u0161n\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b - Kalliopi Anthi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/kalliopi-anthi.gr\/cs\/kalli-radi-8-neposlusne-dite\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"cs_CZ\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kalli rad\u00ed (8) Neposlu\u0161n\u00e9 d\u00edt\u011b - Kalliopi Anthi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ahoj Kalli, pora\u010f mi, pros\u00edm, jak vychov\u00e1vat syna. M\u00e1 mezi t\u0159et\u00edm a \u010dtvrt\u00fdm rokem a p\u0159irozen\u011b se te\u010f hl\u00e1s\u00ed ke slovu jeho osobnost. \u010casto bojujeme o mali\u010dkosti. Do \u0161kolky chod\u00ed v py\u017e\u00e1mku, proto\u017ee se odm\u00edt\u00e1 p\u0159evl\u00e9knout do tri\u010dka, kter\u00e9 p\u0159iprav\u00edm. 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